7 Ways Sex is Good for your Health

Don’t worry about the calories in those Valentine's Day chocolates – a proper celebration in the bedroom can help keep you in shape.

In fact, sex can benefit your health in many ways. Here are seven reasons to give and get a little love – not just this special day, but any time.

Good for the heart
Sex is good for your heart. Like any physical exertion, sex is a form of cardio-exercise, which gets your heart pumping faster and helps it stay in shape. What's more, studies have shown that men who have sex two or more times per week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by half.

Helps you lose weight
Like any form of exercise, sex helps you lose weight. Having sex for 30 minutes can burn off 85 calories. To put that in perspective: 15 minutes on the treadmill could burn up to 200 calories; 42 of these half-hour sessions, then, could shave a pound off your weight.

Boosts your immune system
While it's possible to contract a wide range of diseases, both from sex and from simple contact with others, safe sex between healthy partners can make you better equipped to fight illness.

Those who have sex once or twice a week have been shown to have higher levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA, an antibody which helps protect you from respiratory diseases like the cold and flu.

Don’t go overboard, though – in studies, those who had sex three or more times a week had the lowest levels of antibodies.

Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
For younger men, sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Researchers have found that men in their 20s who had five or more ejaculations per week were one third less likely to develop the cancer in later life. Although they found no such correlation for older men, you could try to prove them wrong.

Relieves stress
There's a medical explanation for the mood boost sex gives you. The brain releases endorphins during and after sex, and these neurotransmitters create a feeling of euphoria while masking the negative effects of stress.
Researchers have also found that sex lowers your blood pressure, which is good for your health and allows you to better keep your cool in stressful situations.

It relieves pain
Endorphins and lower blood pressure also mean that sex relieves pain. Endorphins are released during sex because of the heightened levels of the hormone oxytocin in your body. This has been known to alleviate arthritic and menstrual pain, among other things. Lower blood pressure can also help relieve migraines.
It helps you sleep

In addition to relieving stress and pain, the oxytocin generated during sex helps you sleep better. Sex relaxes you, promoting deeper, more restful sleep. What more do you need?

Learn How to flatten your belly in one week

Another reason to hate Mondays? Tight post-weekend waistbands. Unless you spent the past 2 days living like a monk, the cocktails, movie snacks, and dinners out can all add up to one thing: belly bloat.

“If you wake up bloated on Monday morning, your weekend food choices are likely to blame,” explains Keri Gans, RD, author of The Small Change Diet. “In fact, overindulging for two days straight can easily cause a gain of three pounds. Fortunately, this weight gain is usually temporary and easy to get rid of in less than a week.”

Feel flat again by Friday with these nine easy tips:

Season Food Differently
You may be attracted to your saltshaker, but water is too. When you take in higher-than-usual amounts of the salty stuff, you’ll temporarily retain more fluid, contributing to that sluggish feeling, a puffy appearance, and extra water weight. Avoid salt, overprocessed foods, and salt-based seasonings. Gans suggests you also ditch the frozen microwaveable meals while you’re de-bloating—they’re packed with sodium. Instead, she recommends a simple turkey sandwich or a salad with chicken for lunch this week. And eat plenty of fruits and vegetables that are packed with water.

Add zest to your dinner recipes with fresh herbs and salt-free seasoning blends such as the Original and Italian Medley Mrs. Dash.

Trim Down Carbs
Stay away from heavy carbs such as bagels and pasta. When you decrease the carbs in your diet, you temporarily train your body to access stored carbohydrates called glycogen and burn them off, while also eliminating excess stored fluids.

Trim back on your daily carbs by having eggs for breakfast, making your sandwich open-faced with only one slice of bread, and packing protein-rich snacks such as turkey slices, low-fat string cheese, seeds, and nuts.

Switch Your Starch
If your belly bulges after a high-carb meal like pasta, complex carbohydrate-rich foods may be the cause of your bloat, says Jackie Wolf, MD, author of A Woman’s Guide to a Healthy Stomach. Most starches, including potatoes, corn, pasta, and wheat, produce gas as they are broken down in the large intestine. Rice is the only starch that doesn’t cause gas, so have a ½-cup serving of brown rice (which has more fiber) if you want carbs with dinners.

Stop Milking It
If you’ve ever felt gassy, crampy, or bloated after dairy, you may be one of 30 to 50 million Americans with lactose intolerance. This occurs in people whose bodies lacks the ability to break down and digest the sugar in milk, resulting in digestive issues like gas, bloating, cramping, and diarrhea. Try lower-lactose foods (such as hard cheese or yogurt) or lactose-free dairy products (such as rice milk and almond milk), or take a lactase enzyme to help break down lactose. Dr. Wolf recommends soy milk as a dairy alternative but warns that some people experience gas and bloating from soybeans as well.

Make These Fruit Swaps
Wolf recommends you eat fruits that are kinder on your belly. Berries, grapes, and citrus contain a near-equal ratio of the sugars fructose and glucose, making them easier to digest than fruits with more fructose, such as honeydew, apples, and pears.

You can also eat canned fruits in natural juice or small portions of dried fruit, such as raisins and dried plums.

Hold The Hot Sauce
IF you love four-alarm food, lay off the Tabasco, barbecue sauce, and garlic for a few days while de-bloating. Spicy foods stimulate the release of stomach acid, causing irritation. Give dishes a flavor boost with in-season fresh or dried herbs such as dill, basil, mint, sage, tarragon, and rosemary. You can also use curry powder or lemon or lime juice—all perfect with fish or chicken. Also, steer clear of black pepper, nutmeg, cloves, chili powder, onions, mustard, horseradish, and acidic foods such as catsup, tomato sauce, and vinegar.

Ditch Diet Foods
Avoid low-calorie or low-carb products containing sugar alcohols, which go by the names xylitol or maltitol and cause gas, bloating, and worst—diarrhea. And don’t reach for a stick of gum when you’re trying to quell that sugar craving. Instead, satisfy your sweet tooth by using a little maple syrup on your morning oatmeal or yogurt snack.

Get On The Wagon
Steer clear of alcohol for the next few days to maximize your body’s belly-flattening capabilities. Alcohol causes dehydration and may slow your body’s ability to eliminate that excess weekend waste, so if you had a little too much to drink this weekend, start chugging the H20.

It’s best to eliminate that occasional glass of wine, beer, or hard alcohol this week while you’re on a skinny jeans crusade—all are high-acid beverages that can irritate your GI tract and cause swelling.

Do Some Activity Every Day
A study from Spain's Autonomous University of Barcelona suggests that mild physical activity clears gas and alleviates bloating. That's because increasing your heart rate and breathing stimulates the natural contractions of the intestinal muscles, helping to prevent constipation and gas buildup by expediting digestion. Take a short walk after meals or pedal lightly on a bike at the gym to help relieve bloat.

More Remedies For Belly Bloat
If you want extra belly-flattening aids, consider one of these products to soothe your belly problems.

• Get gas relief with an over-the-counter product such as Gas-X.
• Try peppermint capsules to kill bacteria that cause bloat and aid digestion.
• Stay regular by increasing fiber with flaxseed or a fiber supplement such as Benefiber.
• Take a daily probiotic capsule. Dr. Wolf likes Align, Digestive Advantage Intensive Bowel Support, and Pearls IC Intensive Care Probiotics.

A definite belly-flattening “don’t” is weighing yourself every day, says Gans. “Bloating is about how you feel. A lot of women will start weighing themselves daily—it’ll drive them crazy and could be discouraging. Go by how your clothes feel rather than letting the scale rule your week.” (S)

Dont leave your laptop plugged in

Laptop battery wearing down? In this week's episode of Upgrade Your Life, Yahoo! News' Becky Worley shows us how to help batteries last longer ... and what to do when they run out!

First, the basics
Most laptops use batteries that can last for 3-5 years, or about 1000 charges. (A premium laptop's battery might last longer.) Every time you charge your battery, the total capacity of the battery is diminished. Originally it may have had a run time of 3.5 hours, but after a year it'll run out of juice at 3 hours, even on a full charge.

If your battery capacity has diminished, there are a few things you can do about it. First, you have to correctly gauge how much capacity has been lost. There are free downloads to do this job, like Battery Bar (for Windows PCs) or Coconut Battery (for Macs). These will compare your battery's current maximum capacity to how long it lasted when it was new.



(UPDATE- we originally recommended Battery Eater and while the program works great, their download site has been compromised and we are recommending an alternate program, Battery Bar downloadable from CNET.)

Calibrating your Battery
You can't miraculously reconstitute your battery's capacity. It loses power over time due to chemical reactions taking place in the battery, as it chugs along powering your laptop. You can't undo those changes, but there is one common battery issue you can fix: In many laptops, the operating system's battery meter gets out of sync with how much juice the battery actually has.

Imagine if the gas gauge on your car dashboard was misreading how much gas you actually had in the tank. You'd either run out of gas when you thought you had a quarter of a tank left, or you'd be filling up too frequently. In your laptop, this can mean your laptop shuts down abruptly when the meter says you have 30 minutes left. Or else the meter might warn that you only have 2 minutes of battery life left and shut your laptop down, when it really has another 20 minutes remaining.

Recalibrating gets the battery meter to correctly read the current state of the battery, so you and the operating system know where you stand with existing battery life.

How to recalibrate
First, charge your laptop's battery to full, and leave it that way for at least two hours. Then unplug your laptop, and set its power management settings to never turn off or lower the monitor brightness. (HP has instructions for how do to this on Windows 7 and Vista, as well as Windows XP, while Apple has instructions for Mac laptops on their site.)

You want to drain the battery completely, then let your laptop sit for at least five hours this way -- like, say, overnight. (Just be careful and mute the volume, since some laptops make a warning sound when they're about to run out.) Afterwards, charge it up again, and you should notice a more accurate portrayal of your battery capacity. In some cases, you may even get more life out of it.

Best practices to maintain battery life
You'd think that the best way to keep your laptop's battery from wearing out is to not use it. Right?
As it turns out, batteries are like muscles; they need to be worked out regularly to stay healthy. Ideally, you'd use your laptop unplugged at least once a day, like on a train or bus commute or on the couch in front of the TV. If you're not going to use it, constantly charging your battery is a bad idea; HP recommends on their website that if you're going to leave your laptop plugged in or put up in storage for more than two weeks, you should take the battery out of your laptop.

Past the expiration date
So when is it time to throw out that old battery? The answer, surprisingly, is "never." Laptop batteries contain lots of toxic chemicals, and should never end up in landfills. Fortunately, e-stewards.org has a list of environmentally responsible recyclers that will take your old battery with no fuss.

When is it time to replace your battery, then? Use the free utility apps Becky mentioned, and when they say that your battery can only hold around 25% of its original capacity it's probably time for a new one. You can buy a replacement battery from the original laptop manufacturer, and there are plenty of places online that sell discounted PC laptop batteries, like Laptops for Less and Batteries.com. Owners of newer Mac laptops can get their laptop's non-removable battery swapped out at any Apple store, with a scheduled appointment.

3 Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom

Who doesn't need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he'll initiate sex, so it's all good, right? Not so fast! Did you ever think about what YOUR role is...what you could be doing to turn up the heat? We did, so we asked renowned sex expert and family therapist Dr. Jane Greer. She says women COMMONLY make THREE MISTAKES in the bedroom:

Mistake #1: Comfy Clothes
I know, ladies, that you want to be in those those comfortable nightgowns, those comfortable jammies, that you wear. But, honestly, the quickest turn-off to your partner or spouse are your comfy clothes. So, if you want to spice things up in your love life, shed those comfy clothes and find a ice, hot bra or a nice nighty, something you can be slinky, sexy and comfortable in that will be a TURN-ON to your partner.

Mistake #2: NOT Taking the Lead
Don't wait to get asked to dance, meaning you've got to take the lead. You don't have to wait for your partner to ask you to have sex or make love with them. Get involved, get into bed, take the lead and get your partner into bed with you. You'll both have a lot of fun and enjoy yourselves.

Mistake #3: Criticism
It's to be avoided at all costs. Nothing will turn off your partner faster than you telling him what you DON'T like and what you don't want taking place. On the other hand, what will be a complete arousal and turn-on is letting him know what he CAN do to please you and what will excite you if he does it.

So, tell him what you like, wear those sexy clothes and, most importantly of all, take the lead so that you can have the fun you're looking for!

Know five Signs that He doesn't Love You

You're in a relationship and you've got the sex part down, but you question whether he REALLY loves you. Love and sex expert Dr Jane Greer says there are five signs to tell if he's FAKING IT in the love department:

1. If he says to you 'I only want to be with you," pay attention. The question that should come to mind is, 'Well, who else? Who else would you want to be with? Why am I the only one?' What does that even mean?

2. He says, 'I want you to have my baby.' Trust me, that very often is said in the passion of the moment and he means it in the moment but it's not going to be the way he feels the next day.

3. He's NOT affectionate and/or if you're kissing and he's kissing you back but you find his eyes are open and he's looking around, you should know that's a sign to consider.

4. He makes AND breaks promises. If he's always promising you, 'We're going to go out' or 'We're going to meet my family', but it doesn't happen, there's a reason he's not keeping the promises.

5. He always talks about the future, but the future never comes. It's about what's going to happen, what's always ahead...but you're left dealing with what DIDN'T happen. Bottom line: If you find you're waiting for something more to happen between the two of you and the only thing that seems to be happening is that you're having great sex, he may be faking the LOVING PART. You may want to start paying attention to that so that you don't wind up feeling left out of the rest of his life and not being able to bring him into your life in a more complete way. (S)

This is habits That Can Sink Your Marriage

Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, we shared common interests. Things weren't perfect, but we seemed to be humming along in harmony better than most other couples we knew. In fact, nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in a New Jersey divorce court.

It turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if only I'd known what to look for. Instead, I was judging my marriage by the wrong standards—which, I've since learned, most of us do. In one now-famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had ultimately ended in divorce. The results were abysmal—even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.

So how can you diagnose the health of your relationship? Armed with huge volumes of data on married couples, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help couples recognize marital strife long before their relationship hits the skids.

The Way You Were
Imagine a couple that go hiking on their first date. In a happy marriage, the wife might tell the story this way: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew better than to plan another hiking trip!"

But if the relationship was stressed, she might tell the story this way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again." Same story, but instead of reflecting a sense of togetherness—using pronouns like "we" and "us"—it's laced with negativity. Research has shown that analyzing what's known as the marital narrative—the way you talk about the good and bad times of your early years together—is about 90 percent accurate in predicting which marriages will succeed or fail.

Had I been paying attention, my own how-we-met story could have told me a lot about how I was feeling in my marriage. Early in the relationship, when asked about our first date, I recounted a magical evening that ended with a walk around the Texas capitol building in Austin. I often laughed about the fact that I was limping the whole time because I'd recently had surgery on my foot. But later in my marriage, I changed the story slightly, always adding, "Of course, he didn't even notice."

Fight or Flight
When my husband and I first married, I felt lucky that we almost never fought. But studies show it's a mistake to judge the quality of a relationship by how much or how little you argue, particularly in the early years.

University of Washington researchers studied newlywed couples and learned, not surprisingly, that those who rarely argued were happier in the relationship than those who fought often. But three years later, the findings had reversed. Couples with an early history of bickering had worked out their problems and were more likely to be in stable marriages. The couples who'd avoided conflict early on were more likely to be in troubled relationships or already divorced.

Obviously, fighting that includes violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable. But most marital spats represent an opportunity to resolve conflicts and make things better. "We need to learn to tolerate conflict in our relationships," says Carolyn Cowan, a longtime marriage and family researcher at the University of California, Berkeley. (By Tara Parker-Pope)

6 Ways to Pay Off Credit Card Debt

Are you facing monstrous credit card balances? Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix solution to get out of debt, despite what solicitors or infomercials might have you believe.

There are some tried-and-true methods for paying down debt. However, it's staying committed to your financial goals, not necessarily how you go about it that matters most, says Gail Cunningham, spokeswoman for the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, a nonprofit organization.

Consider the following debt reduction techniques and determine which method motivates you most.

No. 1: The "snowball" method.
"When it comes to paying off debt, we need to be more concerned with behavior modification than math," says Dave Ramsey, author of "Total Money Makeover" and host of a nationally syndicated radio show, "The Dave Ramsey Show." His solution is the "debt snowball" method, which involves paying off debts from smallest to largest, regardless of interest rate. "Pay off the first debt quickly, and it gets you fired up to do it again and again," he says.

Ramsey believes the "snowball" method is for every type of consumer. "The only time that you should pay off a larger debt sooner than a smaller one is when you owe the IRS, or if you are trying to stop a foreclosure," he says. "Other than that, everyone should focus on paying the smallest to the largest debt."

No. 2: Pay the most expensive balance first.
If you are someone who is really motivated by numbers, you will realize the account that is doing you the most damage is the one with the highest interest rate, and you'll take great pleasure in paying that down, says Cunningham.

"Also, if the account with the highest interest is utilizing more than 30 percent of that credit line, focus on paying that one off first to get it under that threshold," she says. Doing so will improve your credit score since debt utilization, which is how much you owe compared to how much available credit you have, is an important factor in determining your score. The lower your utilization is, the better.

No. 3: Do a balance transfer.
Cunningham says if you're considering doing a balance transfer, you should first get out your calculator. "There are certainly fees associated with transfers, so you want to make sure the lower interest rate offsets the fees. You can be a savvy consumer and make that tool work for you if you're very disciplined," she says.

That means you'll need to fight the temptation to use that newly cleared card, while also committing to paying off the balance you moved over in a timely manner, says Deatra Riley, financial education manager at CredAbility, a nonprofit credit counseling and education service. "Balance transfers are a waste of time if you do it with no plan of action," she says.

Riley recommends dividing the total amount owed by the number of months for which the zero interest rate applies, and making sure you can fit that monthly payoff amount into your budget.

No. 4: Keep debt where it is.
Ramsey warns that moving debt around is only putting a temporary patch on your financial wounds. "The danger of moving credit card balances is that it's easy to start thinking you've actually done something to address the problem," he says. After all, you still have all that debt to pay off.

According to Riley, it's also important to keep in mind, especially if you plan to apply for any type of loan in the near future, that opening a new credit account will negatively affect your credit score for the short term.

No. 5: Grow your emergency fund.
In its 2011 Consumer Financial Literacy Survey, the NFCC discovered that 33 percent of Americans have zero dollars in non-retirement savings. "They are one flat tire away from financial distress," says Cunningham.

When an emergency does happen, the cost may mean adding to the current debt load, borrowing from friends and family or forgoing other expenses.

Cunningham advises against wiping out savings to pay down debt, especially if you're not confident about the security of your job. Instead, she suggests keeping a "rainy-day cushion of at least one month's income" in an emergency fund.

No. 6: Use some savings for debt reduction.
If your debt is overwhelming, you might decide to dip into your savings. Just don't bleed it completely dry, says Ramsey. "I always recommend having a $1,000 emergency fund while you get out of debt. Emergencies will happen." You don't want to put yourself in a position where you have to borrow money for the unexpected, he says.

Once you are debt-free, says Ramsey, then you can shift your focus onto building an emergency fund that will cover three to six months' worth of expenses.

A Debt Reduction Breakdown
Technique	Pros	Cons	Who it's good for
Debt snowball method	Get motivated every time an account balance reaches zero.	On paper, it's not the most financially sensible.	Those motivated by small successes.
Balance with highest rate paid first	You'll save more over time.	Must be very focused, and stick to a rigid payment plan.	Those motivated by interest savings.
Balance transfers	Will allow you to save on interest, so you can pay off the principal faster.	Opening a new account can hurt your credit score in the short term.	Determined risk-takers.
Savings-focused	"Rainy day" money means you'll be prepared when emergencies arise.	Savings account interest is less than the interest on your debts.	Potential layoff victims.
Debt payoff-focused	The feeling of relief that comes with a clean slate, and an improved credit score.	If an emergency occurs and savings cannot cover it, you may be forced to borrow.	Anyone who's consumed by their debt.

(S)

Tips for Finding Unclaimed Property

Are you thinking that you could sure use that electric company security deposit you left behind the last time you moved? Or, maybe you found a safe-deposit box key in the bottom of a drawer but don't have the vaguest recollection of where the box might be and what's in it.

There may still be a way for you to get your hands on those assets.

For just about every category of unclaimed property, there is a government lost-and-found department. You can usually search for and retrieve your missing property for free by going directly to the agency responsible for its safekeeping. Based on a review of several government agency websites, the process typically involves looking for your name on a list, completing a claim form, having it notarized and presenting some type of documentation proving you are the rightful owner of the assets.

Here are five examples of the kind of lost loot that might turn up when you start searching.

Property Is Held in State Repositories
All U.S. states and territories and the District of Columbia have programs that help owners of unclaimed property find those assets. According to the National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators, there is at least $32.8 billion worth of unclaimed property in state custody.

The list includes checking and savings accounts, stocks, insurance payments, annuities, utility security deposits, mineral royalty payments and a host of other things you may have forgotten you owned or didn't know were worth anything. Besides assets that come directly from financial accounts, state-held property also may include proceeds from the sale of stocks and bonds, or from safe-deposit box contents sold at auction when it became impractical to store them.

The NAUPA website has links to every state's department in charge of unclaimed property. It also links to MissingMoney.com, a national website in which most states participate.

"If you've moved around a lot, that may be convenient, instead of checking several different states," says NAUPA President John Gabriel. "But if you've pretty much been in one or two states only, it's easier to go directly to those states -- especially if your name is common -- so you don't have to filter through a bunch of (unrelated) stuff."

Find Unredeemed Savings Bonds
If you own or have inherited a matured U.S. savings bond that you never got around to cashing, you may be able to redeem it by going to Treasury Hunt, the U.S. Treasury Department's searchable database.

The Treasury is currently holding about $16.4 billion in matured, unredeemed U.S. savings bonds, says Joyce Harris, director of public and legislative affairs for the department's Bureau of the Public Debt.

Only Series E bonds issued in 1974 and after are included in the database. If you are the heir to the original owner of the bond, you'll need to supply the owner's Social Security number and legal documentation of your relationship to that person to get the unclaimed property. For other types of bonds, Harris says you can fill out a form from the website and mail it in.

Finding Accounts From Shuttered Banks
If you had an account with a bank or savings and loan that was closed by a regulatory agency between January 1989 and June 28, 1993, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. may have some money with your name on it. Unclaimed insured deposits are available for as long as the institution is still under FDIC receivership. You may claim a dividend check for an uninsured portion of a deposit after that period if the U.S. Postal Service returned the check as undeliverable. Here's where to find out if you're on the FDIC's unclaimed funds list.

"In the mid '90s, there was a change in the law, (which is) why our database goes only until June 28, 1993," says FDIC spokesman David Barr. "Now, when a bank fails, any unclaimed funds on hand 18 months after the closing are returned to the FDIC, (which) then turns them over to the individual state unclaimed property bureaus."

The National Credit Union Administration's Asset Management and Assistance Center in Austin, Texas, is in charge of paying out members' share accounts whenever a federally insured credit union is liquidated. You can access a list of unclaimed deposits online.

Get Your Tax Refund
Say your income tax refund check got lost in the mail or was returned as undeliverable because you moved. To find out how to get your unclaimed tax refund back, use the IRS search tool that's aptly named Where's My Refund?

You can file a claim to replace a lost, stolen or destroyed refund check once after 28 days have passed since the IRS mailed the check. You may also be able to change your address online to get an undeliverable check resent.

To get information about your refund, you'll have to plug in your Social Security number, filing status and the amount of refund due.

You may also be wondering about a state tax refund. In many states, unclaimed state tax refunds are handled by that state's department of revenue.

The database will only contain information from your most recent tax return. Your chance to claim an old undeliverable refund check expires once you have filed a return for the current tax year, according to the IRS.

Find Old Pension Benefits
If you had a pension plan with a company that went out of business and you haven't heard anything about what happened to your unclaimed benefits, check the missing participants' listing of the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp.

The PBGC is a federal corporation created to insure private employers' defined-benefit plans. Its database does not include profit-sharing and 401(k) plans.

For 401(k)s, profit-sharing plans and IRAs, you might check the website of the National Registry of Unclaimed Retirement Benefits, which offers free searches of its database.

The payoff for your search could come in the form of an annuity that your former employer bought from a private insurance firm -- money the company deposited in a bank or benefits that PBGC pays you if the company transferred its pension funds to the agency when it closed, according to the PBGC website. You may also file a claim if you are the survivor of the worker who was entitled to the benefits. (S)

Top 3 Wedding Dresses

Top 3 Wedding Dresses. Have some Kardashian-esque curves you want your wedding dress to emphasize?

Look for a mermaid wedding dress, which is extra-fitted through the chest, waist and hips—then flares out dramatically at the bottom.

Below, three of Top 3 Wedding Dresses. from the Spring 2012 runways. (S)

Alita Graham

Jewel by Priscilla of Boston

Augusta Jones

6 Tips for Winning Anyone Over

Sure, being good-looking and charming will certainly make you more of a catch. But there’s an even more crucial component to attracting others that’s so simple we almost feel weird saying it: make your date feel good-looking and charming. Do that, and trust us... this person will be back for more. In a day and age when the romantic options out there are seemingly endless, it’s easy to feel like you are just a number. Prove you think the cutie sitting across from you is one of a kind, though, and it can make a huge difference. But how do you make someone feel, well, special? It’s not as hard as you think — just try these six tips and watch your love interest light up.

Flattery strategy #1: Get specific with your praise
Since daters often feel like they’re just one amongst a parade of people having coffee with you, demonstrate some genuine interest in the next one you meet to help erase that fear. “We studied the relationship between reciprocity and romance and found that if someone thinks you’re attracted to him or her, it increases that person’s attraction to you,” says Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Northwestern University. On the other hand, “If someone’s attracted to you but getting the sense that you’re attracted to lots of other people, he or she will tend to dislike you.” The upshot? Prove you’re picky (and that this person fits your high criteria). Then you’re well on your way to making this potential amour pick you, too. Reread his or her profile right before you meet up and tell your date exactly why it stood out from the rest and what you noticed first. And nix any mentions of past bad dates or other negative experiences, which can make it inadvertently seem like you’ll give anyone the time of day.

Flattery strategy #2: Create insider info between the two of you
You don’t have to be old friends to cultivate a comfortable rapport with someone. “Make references to things you’ve discussed or emailed about,” says dating coach Annie Dennison, Ph.D. “It creates a sense of intimacy and shows your date you’re really listening.” To really drive home that you find your date fascinating, ask for more information on details he or she mentioned in passing (“I know you like Jay-Z. Which album of his do you think I should download?”). Or tie together stories (yours or your date’s) with a follow-up line like, “Wow, that reminds me of what you were telling me about your trip to Costa Rica/your overbearing boss/football obsession.”

Flattery strategy #3: Congratulate your date
If you want your sweetie to really beam, show you’re impressed by a feat that he or she is especially proud of. “We did a study and found that when people told others about something good that happened to them and the person responded positively, it improved the whole experience,” Shelly Gable, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. So don’t just say “Cool!” when your date mentions a win like getting into grad school, finishing a 10K, or just getting an amazing deal at an outlet store. Get into it and ask what he felt when he got the news, how she reacted, which person he told first, or how long she’d been hoping for it to happen. Answering the questions will let your date relive some of the excitement — and associate you with an unexpectedly happy buzz.

Flattery strategy #4: Compliment qualities that are unrelated to looks
When you admire a not-so-obvious trait that your date has, it makes you seem super-insightful. An easy place to start is by connecting his or her job to a quality you appreciate. Tell an accountant that you’re always especially envious of detail-oriented people; tell a teacher you’re in awe of those who can motivate others. If you like what your date is wearing or how this person decorated his or her home, “don’t compliment the ‘thing’ — anyone can buy a thing — but call out what it says about him or her,” says Susan Rabin, author of Lucky in Love. Instead of the tie itself, praise the person’s individual style; instead of muttering “nice couch,” say you’re wowed by people who have an eye for color and design.

Flattery Strategy #5: Emphasize your date’s name in your verbal responses
When someone shares an anecdote, most of us fall back on interjections like “Unh-UH!” or “Wow, that’s crazy!” The problem is, those encouragements also sound like clichés — especially once you’ve used them several times in one evening. A better way to punctuate your partner’s story? “Use his or her name,” says Dennison. Hearing a specific name — whether it’s “Wow, Sheila, you’re so brave!” or “Way to go, Jeremy, I’m impressed!” — will make dates think you really get what’s so “them” about the tale they just told, which is way more flattering than wondering if you were listening at all.

Flattery strategy #6: Playfully tease your date
If you saw The Departed, you probably remember the scene when Matt Damon asks his date something like: “What makes you think I want a second date with you?” — then bursts out laughing. It turns out those childhood playground tormentors (“Ewww, you have cooties!”) were onto something. “Thinking someone is attracted to you is great, but our research also suggests that not being sure about it actually heightens the excitement,” says grad student Paul Eastwick, Finkel’s research partner at the Northwestern Relationships Lab. Hearing that kind of rejection can spike feelings of anxiety — then fill you with relief when you realize it was a gag. So if you’re sure your date has a good sense of humor, give him or her a little ribbing first: “Oh no, you’re an Aquarius? Shoot, I have a rule about that.” Not only do you get to have an instant inside joke, it sends a subtle message that you’re into your date enough to be comfortable joking about it. Just make sure you don’t tease about something the person’s sensitive about — that’s not flirting; that’s an insult.

Caitlin Ascolese is a freelance writer in New York City. (S)

What Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband’s feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, “Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn’t feel that way at home.” Here, nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other––and the words that you should try instead.

1. “You’re just like your father.
“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”
First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you're not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want.

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”
Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,’” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?’” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words.

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!
This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be.

5. “You always... [fill in the blank]” or “You never... [fill in the blank]”
“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don't care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing...,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask.

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”
Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions.

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?
There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?’” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn't involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.)

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”
This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown. (S)

5 Android smartphones you should avoid buying

Not all Android smartphones are created equal. Unlike the iPhone, which is generally updated by Apple once a year, there are literally dozens of smartphone models on the market powered by Google’s mobile operating software.

While there are a handful of fan favorites like the Nexus S 4G and Motorola Atrix, there are also plenty of dogs that suffer from poor performance issues, weak batteries, and stupidly unnecessary features. Based on input from our readers, personal experience and poor reviews, we detail here five Android phones you should avoid buying.

Huawei m835 Ideos

Sometimes you get what you pay for, which is the case with this Metro PCS-branded Android smartphones  While we love the fact that Android phones can now be purchased without a contract for less than $100, the tiny screen size, spotty performance and poor battery life of the Huawei Ideos makes it an inferior device than even most feature phones. The appeal of its compact dimensions (4.1 inches tall and 2.2 inches wide) are overshadowed by a 2.8-inch touchscreen that makes typing and navigating through websites and applications awkward at best. This problem is amplified when you consider that most prospective users of this “starter Android phone” haven’t owned a smartphone before. There are certainly smarter ways to try out an Android.

Garminfone
Releasing a phone based on state-of-the-art navigation technology was a good idea at first. But Garmin’s first (and only) entry into the crowded Android device market suffered from poor sales and a generally directionless marketing approach. The idea was to bring Garmin’s expertise at GPS satellite navigation into a smartphone. The trouble is, most regular Android smartphones include Google Maps already installed. For the vast majority of consumers, that app and the hundreds of other navigation-oriented Android apps produced by independent developers is all that will ever be needed. While there is no denying that the Garminfone works well as a standalone GPS device, for those wanting a true Android smartphone experience, it certainly doesn’t cut the mustard. As Google Maps now works offline too, which was one of the Garminfone’s original advantages, the device is becoming even more obsolete.


Dell Streak

Is it a phone? Is it a tablet? The Dell Streak somehow combines the worst qualities of each. What’s the point of having a portable device that places phone calls but doesn’t comfortably fit in your pocket? In terms of computing, the comparatively small Dell Streak is clearly inferior to the iPad and other tablet offerings. But don’t just take our word for it. Wall Street Journal tech guru Walt Mossberg listed the Streak as one of the worst devices he reviewed in 2010. Android software updates to the Streak have made it a more usable device than when Mossberg published his original review. However, not even the most advanced mobile operating system in the world can make up for the Streak’s clumsy form factor.

Motorola Citrus
Verizon subscribers have a serious beef with the Motorola Citrus, which has an average two-and-a-half star rating (out of five) based on 392 reviews. Among its drawbacks are a slow web browser that is difficult to read text on because of the small screen size. Many users complain about constantly having to manipulate the screen size in order to read text. The Citrus is also known to revert to Airplane Mode by itself and freeze without warning. For search and navigation, the Citrus pushes users to pre-installed Bing applications rather than providing easy access to Google and other applications. While it is common for smartphones to include this kind of "bloatware" upon purchase, for tasks as essential as search and navigation users should be free to make their own choices. There may be worse Android smartphones available, but Verizon subscribers who insist on buying a Motorola phone are better off paying for the superior Droid models. The Citrus is free to purchase with a two-year contract and readily available. But you’re still going to pay thousands of dollars for the duration of your deal, so it’s better to pony up earlier for a superior phone and let this lemon spoil.

HTC Thunderbolt

OK, before you start with the angry emails for including this one, hear us out. The Thunderbolt is a great device with plenty of power. It has been well reviewed, sold well, and offers the advantage of blazing-fast connectivity on Verizon’s 4G network. But -- and we’re certainly not the only ones to point this out -- the Thunderbolt has been beset with quirks and problems since its launch. Randy Arrowood, from enthusiast blog Android Headlines, even went so far as to put it at number one in his Top 10 Android Phone Letdowns of 2011. Arrowood cited issues when transferring from a 4G to 3G network, constant restarts, and the most common issue of all: horrendous battery life. For sure, the Thunderbolt (and many others like it) are great devices with loads of style and power. But if you need an extra battery just to see you through the afternoon, or can’t use the phone to its utmost potential because of a lack of juice, then what’s the point of having all those features? (S) Android smartphones